INTRODUCTION
My phone buzzed this morning. It was a What’s App from Adani One at Mumbai airport saying that my duty free order had been successfully placed, and they’d received the payment. The context here is that I’m flying to India this week and need to collect some items from duty free. More importantly, although I’d told my father that I would do the needful, he’s gone ahead and placed the order and made the payment! Now THAT is my family!
Which brings me to the point of this article.
‘We’re like family here.’ I hear people say.
But really, are coworkers your family?
More importantly, is that what you want?
When we hear the term family, many of us think of a safe space where we belong and can lean on others to support us. Yet do I really want my boss treating me like my dad does?
Well, I’d love all my bosses to make my payments!
But jokes aside, do we really want colleagues acting like our siblings or worse, our children?
Considering everyone’s family is so different, I’m sure it brings up different visions for us all – with the underpinning idea being that it’s a place you belong and do meaningful work with people you trust.
Yet have we taken this too far?
In this article, I’ll explore the rationale, the benefits and risks, so that you can make your own informed decisions.
THE CONCEPT OF WORK FAMILY
Having been in the corporate world for 25 years, I get the concept.
Modern workplaces have embraced the term ‘work family’ since the late 1990s, but the idea has been around for a lot longer.
For example, Thomas J Watson, the late chair and CEO of IBM, fostered a family atmosphere through personal interaction, supporting employees’ families, hiring disabled workers, having an open door policy, and initiatives to promote employee education – all an integral aspects of IBM’s culture.
Closer home, in India, many see Tata as a family, and I can see why. The company is deeply respected globally and in moments such as after attacks on The Taj Mumbai, not only did Ratan Tata stay put outside the hotel for three days in solidarity, he visited families of the 80 employees who lost their lives and promised to fund their children’s education and medical costs for the entire family for the rest of their lives! In fact, the concept is so deeply embedded in the Indian psychology that Sahara India Pariwar, another Indian conglomerate, has the word family embedded in its name with ‘pariwar’ meaning family in Hindi. Other companies such as Hilton, Salesforce are also known to have embraced the work family mindset. At Salesforce’s offices, they’ve set aside an ‘Ohana’ floors. ‘Ohana’ means family in Hawaiian.
BENEFITS OF WORK FAMILIES
The concept clearly has merits and there’s a reason that ‘work family’ works for many.
For employees, it offers a sense of being part of something bigger and it’d be a shame not to feel supported by your coworkers with whom you spend so much time! When we feel we’re trusted and can trust those around us, the workspace is a lot more collaborative and we’re more able to do our best work without feeling burnt out.
For employers too, not only does it offer a way to make a wider societal impact but also makes business sense. As a case in point, this Glassdoor research shows satisfied employees drive better business results.
THE DOWNSIDES
Despite clear benefits for employees and employers, the concept has several downsides.
As an employee, you run the risk of assuming unconditional acceptance. What I mean by this is that in a family, you know that your family will support you no matter what. My children don’t love me for the work I do, they just love me for who I am. I do the same. At work though, high performance is often a pre-condition to acceptance in the family, and though many workplaces do their best to support you through difficult times, the underlying assumption is that you’re a high performer who’ll eventually return to perform.
Related to this is a second point, which is about unpaid work. When doing something for our family, we expect nothing in return. After all they’re family, right? Unfortunately, for many employers, the work family concept is a great way to eek out added hours from employees, particularly women, such as asking for them to help at community events.
Ever been asked to help for the Diwali party and sit back after work to do the office Rangoli?
Sadly, this doesn’t just mean unpaid work but results in many people unable to see you as the leader – as your boss might view you as his family member who’s good at making the workspace pleasant as opposed to being the talented woman capable of tough decisions.
Also, for those who like to maintain boundaries this expectation can result in a fair bit of stress as they can come across detached from the team while all they want is to do a good job.
There are many other drawbacks for employers too – such as when you’ve got to manage poor professional conduct or let go of people for non-performance and redundancies.
CONCLUSION
Though the term ‘work family’ has caught on in the modern workplace, your coworkers are not family.
The word family is very sacred, and our families are irreplaceable.
While it’s true that when we work in places for long times, some coworkers feel like family, this cannot be a generic assumption for all coworkers.
Many employers and leaders go the extra mile to make a difference and genuinely want to foster family like bonds for people and so as employees, you’d be wise to focus on the intent than the word.
For employers, they must be mindful that employees seek a sense of belonging, purposeful work, collaborative workspaces and growth opportunities – all of which can be achieved without making promises about being a family. It’s safer and more effective to use words such as team or tribe
Take a moment to reflect on your workplace dynamics. Are your coworkers your family? What do you think?
