2018 has been anything but calm. As they say, the rate of change today may be the fastest that you have ever seen and yet the slowest that you are likely to see ever again.
Be it a desire to excel or just the fear of missing out, we constantly seek ways to keep pace. From one-click shopping to shortened books, we are persistent on instant. Even failure needs to be fast!
Before we know it, commitments spiralling out of control leave us feeling overwhelmed. You know that feeling of whatever you do, it’s just not enough or however hard you try, you just can’t keep up. Exactly! That one.
Eventually stuff gets done – it always does.
And to keep us going, our strained, yet tuned in egos are constantly massaged by badges and bonus points for achievements big and small. Fitbit sends us badges and even Facebook reminds us how often our posts were liked and shared. The little nudges provide motivation to continue. What’s more, they even miss us when we don’t show up. We must be doing something right!
Like well trained hamsters, we keep going. Myself included.
Yet, the last ten days have been nothing short of an experiment. I was on a holiday (make that two) and because I was with people who knew what they wanted to do, I left my decision making hat at home.
The first was a trip to Lucerne with family with four kids in tow. The latter, a trip to Poland with a friend; thankfully, no kids in tow! The first, totally unplanned and the other, planned to the picosecond!
The two experiences were very different and yet very similar.
The similarity here was that in both trips, my brain was in shut down mode. Perhaps the biggest decisions I made were if I might have a tea or coffee. Sometimes, I even put that off by sharing whatever was going on. My social media posts faded (two over 10 days), I didn’t pose for too many pictures. The one you see here has been clicked by my little niece when sauntering around Bern looking for bears. Even calling an Uber was too much effort!
Some days, I woke up, stared at the stunning ceiling for a bit and slept again.
Almost everyday, I noticed alerts of the stock market going lower, yet, I didn’t check in on my stocks.
Gradually, I began enjoying the withdrawal.
A minimalist at heart, I often speak of decluttering and simplicity but this time, I withdrew to a point where instead of deciding what to purge, I purged it all and am now pondering the question of what I really missed. I.e what deserves revival?
I missed writing and here I am.I missed my children; might be worrying if I didn’t!I didn’t miss some chats. Those will go.Oddly, I missed a living room that I don’t have. It was only a vision. I’ll create it now.
You get the point.
Instead of removing the negative influencers, sometimes, just let everything go.
It’s like cleaning a bag. Some days we remove items we don’t need and other times, we empty the entire bag and only put back what we need. This being the latter.
So, forget the fear of missing out and revel instead in the sheer joy of missing out. Let everything go and see what stays. The question isn’t what you missed out on but what/who did you miss?Stop trying to find your dreams in the life you have created, try instead to create the life of your dreams.
My painter arrives this Saturday; I’m changing the look of my living room.
Have you ever wondered where JOMO, the Joy Of Missing Out might take you?
Good luck missing out! I wish you more joy!
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